Average Dreams

Average Dreams

Parents have dreams. They dream about their children. Most of the time these dreams manifest their own dreams unfulfilled. Like, “I wanted to be doctor but could not (because of innumerable non-existing factors) so I want my son/daughter to be a doctor”; or, “I wanted to be an engineer but could not so I want my son/daughter to be one”. Or still, “I am a doctor/engineer and I want my son/daughter to be one!”

Parents, at least I know of, do not dream of their children to be, say, artists, painters, players (player is a person who plays any XYZ sports; cricketer is one who plays CRICKET!), social worker (times though are changing!), a good bus conductor (in our country, not even a music conductor!), a good driver (a strict no-no to motor sports, too), a good carpenter, a good baker, a good chef, and a farmer (even a farmer does not want his/her son/daughter to be a farmer, and obvious too!). As if these trades are not required in the life! Do we need more doctors? Which means we do not have a good health education for preventive health care? Perhaps; do we need more engineers? Does that mean we need good engineers to carry out banking, stock broking, operational management, and retail management? We certainly need engineers to build roads, canals, highways, drainage lines etc but along with them we need a lot of others who make it happen, and work to keep them running, too.

“Mumbai generates waste to the tune of approximately 7025 tonnes per day (2007 figures and estimated to increase to 9000 tonnes per day in 2008). The waste consists of: 5025 tonnes of mixed waste (bio-degradable and recyclable); 2000 tonnes of debris and silt; the biodegradable waste is made up of vegetables and fruit remainders, leaves, eggshells etc”

But more than these, we would not able to survive and exist if there was/is no farmer; the life would be difficult without a carpenter, and a baker; evenings would be mournful without artists, musicians, and weekends would be spent lying on bed if there were no players to watch (cricket numbers can be crunched during office hours!). But still, the parents do not dream of these vocations for their children.

It could be related to the numbers and percentages that relate to good life. Have you seen any doctor struggling to make his/her ends meet? I haven’t, and if you have, please let me know (I would like to interview her/him for what went wrong, and where!). What would be the percentage of engineers unemployed? What are the chances of an employer picking an artist over an engineer in, say, retail operations? Or say in social work? So it could be related to the “never failure” to earn an average (and at times decent) salary/pay whether in the training/education that s/he got or in any other vocation; it is guaranteed, no fuss, there is a steady flow of money, and in all the other vocations, there is or perceived uncertainty of a steady flow of money.

That also explains the double educational work and hours the players, artists, musicians etc have to devote in the country. The chances of the failure, and getting a decent pay is less, and so the parents ensure that (instil the thinking that do whatever you want but complete your degree) their sons/daughters have “GOOD EDUCATION”.  Which means, sports, fine arts, theatre etc are not good education?

But let’s debate that later, and come back to the dreams parents nurture (seeding in selves first, and then enforce upon their sons/daughters). Parents do not fantasize about big dreams (one parent told me that we need to be practical, what that means, I don’t know) but they have “average dreams”, and the story should end there.

But as the parents do the most of the dreaming their frame of reference is dated. It is not in sync with the times they live in (as their children, they also live in the modern times, but frame referred is from their college days!).

Why can’t the parents live their life and leave the dreaming of the future (of their children) to their children? Is it because they have nothing else to do? Is it because they haven’t acquired any hobbies to follow? Reading, writing, music, gardening, trekking, playing (a person I know told me that he used to play in younger days, and he is just thirty five!) or simply cooking (a male gender activist I know spends time reading, preparing, for the workshops he conducts, and his wife does the vegetable shopping and cooking) Cooking is a chore, and at the same time it is an art, and science but most of the people look at it more simplistically (It has rendered males into gender sensitive, gender balanced and gender rogues category)!   

In order that children start thinking about their dreams, and not merely adopting the average dreams of their parents as their own, parents need to be freed from the paranoia that if they stop thinking about their children, if they do not “plan the dreams” of their children, the children would be doomed!        

 
Till then, let’s live with the average dreams.