Godfather's No

How to say no that sounds like yes

"I am on the cusp of immortality". No I am not. I am, in fact on the cusp of confusion, and if confusion can lead to immortality, well, be it!

One of my friends told me that you sounded “soo clear” that something is great going to happen to you. He is not an astrologer, but people who reach some heights through sheer persistence turn to be close to one. Like a wise seer who has seen it all and given it up all! Or a preacher who has not had time to read George Bernard Shaw on teaching!

The height gives a clear position to look below at people and they seem to you lost or stranded or lost the steam. You feel exalted in the rarefied company, and as the most rarefied of the lot still at a handful of distance perched at the top tries to boost you energy, you in turn pick a friend or two who are willing to listen out of curiosity which is confused by the preacher as their “well earned wisdom sparks”. I’ve been picked occasionally, and I enjoy these occasional sparks of wisdom.

Back to the cusp of confusion or simply put:  “not knowing what to do” but at the same time “knowing well what not to do”. So, in this puzzled dizziness, I did what I thought was best: make a long list of “things I do not wish to do-despite doing it skilfully for past few years”. 

This was a good exercise, and out went a lot of things which my friends from the past ten-twenty years would have liked me to do it for the “humanity’s sake”. I tuned off their chorus of anticipated cries, and went on to try to execute the “plan of not doing these things now”.

It wasn’t fun, and there were a number of approaches in a subtle way, and I had to say no to them. One thing which I haven’t learned is “how to say no” in an accomplished way. When I tried once or twice to be part of the “select management crowd”, Ila told me, “it is not your forte, Chandrakant, to be politically correct; be yourself!”

A lot of maneuvering to say no to people who knew I could do it, and at the end of it I was fatigued. Still there are still a few approaches, and I try different ways to still stick to the “not to do list”.

That is not easy. One needs an earning option, a thread to hold to. So quickly I went to the drawing board, and did an exercise (which my friend said, Oho, you did a matrix! great!) where in I tried a list of things I am good at combined with my interest to do that, and of which I have a reasonable set of skills at present to pursue the earning option. At the end of the exercise I was amazed to find out that I have had accumulated quite a good amount of skills without any interest in those! Before going on further, I mused as to what made me to acquire those skills, and the only reason I could fathom was the fear of not able to earn a living without these in the sector I was! Friends could, well, think otherwise, and please drop a line or two telling me about your opinions, if you feel I am worthy for it.

At the end of the exercise I had only one element left, and I felt happy that I need not worry about a multitude of options out there. Such a nice feeling! So I went on to identify a few organisations that could take me. I zeroed down on a few, and started sounding them. How do I do it? This I am not good at, I must confess, and though I had been doing “marketing communication” in my earlier jobs, I realised it was out of sheer necessity than the joy of doing the thing.

At last I got a response, and I was elated. After a flurry of mails, I received the parting mail that said something like this: I was not only good at “the thing”, I would be an asset to the organisation with my experience. But as of now, we have some fund constraints, and in next few months we could be tiding over the situation, and in those conditions we would certainly like you to be with us.That sounded great!

This took me back to Mario Puzo’s Godfather. Somewhere, I don’t remember exactly where after so many years, Don Vito Corleone tells his son, Michael, “when you say no, it should sound like yes”. 

Was it a no that sounded as yes?